i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
