ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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