Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
