NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
