so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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