i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
