I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
