dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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