your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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