So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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