I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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