So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
