If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
