Fuck appropriateness.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
