12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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