Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
