morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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