Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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