now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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