I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
