it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
