He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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