By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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