i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
