and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
