my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize