I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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