There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
