I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
