sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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