I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't think brook has ever known best
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
