Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
