He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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