I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cannot find my penis.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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