My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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