ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
