I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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