This is not my ceiling
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
