in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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