she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
