I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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