I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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