My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
