Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My dick has a subreddit
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
