Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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