I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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