Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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