dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
