Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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