the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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