I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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