if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
