Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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