so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
