Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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