i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
